Plethora of Everything

En donde estés querría estar yo Pero se que no es mi hora y para llegar habrá demora Ese es bueno, gracias a Dios que sea así Pero no es fácil vivir aquí sin ti Eras mi compañero fiel- Con tan solo recordar a tu cara bonita sonrío Y si te pienso mucho me da escalofríos Te Amo Mi Amigo, Mi Compañero, Mi Perro. Mi bebe para siempre, Llorón, como te extraño.

Llorón was "my dog."     A year and a half ago I owned 2 dogs, Llorón and Thalia.     I always referred to sweet Thalia as "everyone's dog."     Of course she was my dog but her easy going, lovable disposition often made it feel like she belonged to everyone. She would make herself right at home at the neighbor's when we lived in a duplex, sometimes staying over there for hours. A year later when we moved to an apartment in Miami Beach she would also spend a lot of time with an upstairs neighbor. She was content just sitting with the elderly gentleman upstairs as he watched TV. With Thalia I'd always have to go next door or upstairs and 'get her' to come home, or, when at the dog park I always had to call her to leave.      Llorón was the opposite. He wouldn't let me out of his sight.            Where mommy went, Llorón went. Special Memories...      I'll never forget the first time I took him swimming in the bay; I swam out

I treasure my alone time; that's my time with you, with your memory. I run through my mind over and over again your scent, your big puppy dog eyes, your idiosyncrasies, our cherished times together. In my time alone I keep you close to me.  I hold you and bid you to be near me.  I hope that in doing this I'm not keeping your soul from moving on.  It's just so extremely hard to be without you now, day in and day out. You were my side kick, my friend, my baby... part of my very being. You still are and always will be part of me Llorón. I will never fully let you go. You will always have me as your mommy, til we meet again one day, God willing.

This is just a bad dream wake me up wake me up It can't be you, not you, it's too soon. My shadow, my sweet, smart, funny boy the one that has brought me so much joy Please don't let it be his time please let there be a miracle let him be fine Please, please please let this be just a bad dream my sweet boy merely hugging you calms the panic in me now the thought of losing you won't let me be I love you beyond time and space but please, here and now, a little mercy, a little grace Don't let it be the end I'm not ready to say goodbye to my special friend.   

    Every now and then this question hits me     And... "I wonder when I'll start working again and how I'll handle that transition?"  isn't merely a passing thought...  the subject tends to provoke somewhat a sense of panic for me.     When I think about going back to work I think of our mornings, Sam and I, being able to lay in my bed for an hour or so- he nurses, we snuggle and he watches videos on the ipad while I fully wake up... I know, it sounds like we're spoiled right ?          Well, anyone that has raised a child knows it's not all fun and games and sweet moments! The day gets pretty chaotic pretty quickly with a 21 month old in tow. -Sam loves making messes. He challenges me on most issues. He throws tantrums. All of that "fun stuff" is part of being a stay-at-home mom too.     That being said I wouldn't trade it for the world... or to drive a newer car , or to feel more financially secure , or to be more on track t