Plethora of Everything

Sometimes I get home from work stressed out, angry and tired. Sometimes on days like that I wish I could just be 'left alone.' It's because I'm grumpy, I know it and don't want to share that kind of energy with my partner. I'm ashamed to act like an asshole with him when he has nothing to do with my bad day or personal problems. Most days are happy ones for us, thank God and thank us for making them that way but naturally there are rough times as there are for anyone in a serious relationship. A couple of weeks ago I was really struggling with something and did not want to be around my partner at all. I just felt better when he wasn't around... luckily this feeling only lasted for a few days off and on and I was able to do some serious self-work and work through this. It's scary when we feel badly towards our partners or ourselves. At times it seems our feelings and emotions take on a life of their own and are running the show all on their own (espec...

This morning I trotted down the stairs, out the door of my boyfriend's studio to make the 4 block trek back to my apartment. I stopped on the corner of 9th and Washington and looked directly behind me as the dogs peed. What I saw was Ocean Drive, and the short path to the beach. Staring for a minute I quickly recalled my own voice saying, "If I lived near the beach I'd go every day, just to sit there, look at the ocean and enjoy it." Well, now I live 5 blocks from the beach and I do not go every day. I go weekly, at least, but not daily. And that's not a big deal but it reminds me, as humans we always tend to take for granted that which we have, which is disposable or near to us. -Just last year I was swimming in the ocean in November! I was still so excited to be living here, so close to the beach that the cold water didn't faze me, I was child-like in the water. This winter I have not swam in the ocean once because it's "too cold." -And it w...