How to Exude GENUINE Confidence

Confidence- a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities. Definition from Google's dictionary 

    Being around confident people is intriguing. It makes you feel like, "What do they know that I don't know?" 

    Genuinely confident people are like magnets, drawing others to them. 

    -"If you can make yourself believe it, you can make anyone believe it..." for better or for worse!

    
    Confidence is inborn, to a degree (ever noticed how perfect a baby's posture is when she learns to sit up... brimming with confidence those babies!). It's also a byproduct of several other life aspects. 

    That's what we'll focus on in this blog post: the aspects of life that can positively impact our confidence.

   
    I believe this last presidential election was won in great part due to the President's extreme confidence in himself and his own abilities. In my opinion the President was way overconfident however, this is a good example of how far confidence can take you in life.

    

Confident-looking woman

Confidence should be genuine

    We're not going after stroking peoples' egos here, or teaching how to 'act confident,' but rather reminding people that, as individuals, we all have intrinsic value. 
    
    No two snowflakes are alike, as are no two human beings.  These facts are remarkable when you take a moment to ponder them. You are one person, with one person's life experience, equipping you to be very good at something, or many things. You are equipped to deliver positive results in this world...

    If you've had a rough life, you're tougher than you realize. You're able to overcome adversity and ultimately inspire others to do the same.

    If you've had a more tranquil life (notice I didn't say 'easy' as I believe no one has an 'easy' life), then you've been blessed with a head start out of the gate... your track wasn't marred with debris. You are strong and naturally more confident because of your life's path and you can inspire others to take a more clutter-free path in life too! 

     

    The Best Way to Feel and Exude Genuine Confidence Is...

    To Live a Virtuous Life. 

    If you're dealing with serious "character defects," with tendencies to: steal, lie, cheat, or abuse substances then it will be nearly impossible for you to exude genuine confidence. 

    You may be able to fake confidence, in fact, if you're currently a lyin', cheatin' and/or dopin' person, you're likely a very good actor and beyond capable of acting confident but... your confidence is a facade, as are many aspects of your life. If you're fine with this, o.k., keep on keepin' on! I'm not judging. I can't. No one can.

   But, my friend, you also can come clean with yourself about your character defects then resolve to eliminate them from your life, I know this can be easier said than done but, the good news is: there are many options out there to help you get to a better place in your life. There's therapy, NA, support groups and, of course, a Higher Power. 
Moving right along...

    Confidence is Earned.

    We gain confidence through our life choices, in the short and long term.  Professors, Doctors, Lawyers typically come across as confident. In part, this is because they've mastered a subject. They often simply know what they're doing and, they've earned the right to work in these prestigious fields, and feel confident about it!

    
    Don't worry, you don't have to be a doctor or lawyer to gain confidence. If you're a waitress, with no college education for example, you can earn confidence by: choosing to challenge yourself in new ways. You can study something that fascinates you. Or, if you're unable to study now, you can find an affordable martial arts or hot yoga class. 

    You will earn and gain confidence through your discipline and dedication to something, anything, that's good for you!

You Got This!

     A Caveat: Let's Not be Conceited

    Sometimes it's hard to distinguish confidence from conceitedness. And sometimes it's not! Conceited individuals aren't bad people, rather they feel the need to overly exert how much they accomplish and how often they accomplish it. They feel they have something to prove, to themselves, the world, or both. 

    
    Many of us can recall times we've acted conceited. I was overly confident at times for example when I worked in the animal shelters. I thought I cared more than almost everyone else that worked there and that I knew the best way to do everything.  Here's the thing, even if I did care more or knew how to do something better than someone else, a conceited attitude wouldn't help me accomplish anything. That brings me to a most important point: 

One Must Feel Confident and Humble, hence projecting Confidence and Humility simultaneously.

    Humility is an ever-so-important attribute that all legitimate spiritual disciplines emphasize and teach, whether it's Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity or Judaism. However, many of us in this day and age aren't religious. So where do we get our daily dose of humility? How are we reminded, or reminding ourselves, to practice humility? These are questions I don't have answers to, questions we all must ask ourselves. 

    Genuine Confidence:

-Helps others see you as trustworthy and credible

-Makes others feel comfortable and safe with you

-Is meant to be shared and taught

-Is admired and sought after by everyone from potential employers to life partners 

    Hopefully this blog post has helped someone feel more confident, or understand why he or she may struggle with confidence. 

    Now Chin up, shoulders back, straight abdomen, breathe and ... go show yourself and the world all you have to offer!