The Anticipation Typically Is Worse Than The Anticipated
Two days ago while driving to work I looked over to my left, while traveling 70 mph. I glanced at the stone, car-height wall which is the median between traffic going north and south. -You know, there's a similar wall on most major highways, this particular one is on I-95. Anyhow, like a flash it hit me, spinning uncontrollably in my 2000 Honda Accord until my car brutally collided with an similar median wall on another highway.
Why I suddenly recalled this accident which happened 6 years prior is beyond me. I never think of or worry about wrecking. I am and always have been a confident driver, not much slows me down. What struck me more than the memory of the accident was the feeling that accompanied it- horror, terror, fear, instant nauseousness. It was very powerful and frightening for a split second. Then I recalled the feeling I had as the actual wreck was occurring (6 years prior)- it was a surreal, out-of-body calmness and awareness that I was no longer in control of my vehicle. There was no nauseousness or true fear, it was just an awareness of what was taking place.
When something terrible, truly terrible happens, an initial, split-second calmness always accompanies it. -It's that place where your brain hasn't had time to interpret the news of what's happening, where only consciousness and awareness exist. It's shock, adrenaline, whatever you wan to call it- but it's significant. It's significant to know that when in a state of being, not processing, we are calm. -We are not out of control, scared or in despair.
The weeks following my car wreck were far more traumatic than the wreck itself; waiting to see if the person at fault had insurance to cover my liability-covered only Accord I had just bought in cash, with my life's savings, was torturous. Really.
For the record... it all worked out. I had truly wanted a Honda Prelude since the age of 17, and when I finally had saved money to buy a new (for me, new) car, I opted for a more 'practical' car, the Accord. It would allow for 'family life' since I was 25 and would 'surely be starting a family soon.' HaHaHa. The car was great but it wasn't truly what I wanted and desired. So, three months after buying it it was totaled (weird right?), and I was issued a check to replace it. Then I did search for and find the perfect car- a black, 5 speed, 98 Honda Prelude, the car I had always wanted. I still have the car, 6 years later. It has 173,000 miles on it and I still love it. So, that's a whole different story, but a cool one right?
Back to the 'Anticipation being worse than the Anticipated' theme... the next time you're dreading something, whether it be cleaning house, getting out of bed, going to work, exercising, having sex (hopefully you don't dread that, but ya' never know), etc.- stop for a second and think of what you typically feel like when you are doing the thing you're dreading- it's not that bad right?? You're probably not really miserable when cleaning, working out, working, etc. -The anticipation is far worse, and in knowing that, the anticipation will be easier to deal with. :)
Related Affirmation: I am open to __________. All is well. Here you should breathe in, picturing, soothing, bright, light, invigorating energy entering your body, hold it for a moment then breathe out, any grey-ish-colored, negative, heavy resentful energy in your body.
Now... get on to whatever you are trying to do but have been putting off due to anticipation!
Why I suddenly recalled this accident which happened 6 years prior is beyond me. I never think of or worry about wrecking. I am and always have been a confident driver, not much slows me down. What struck me more than the memory of the accident was the feeling that accompanied it- horror, terror, fear, instant nauseousness. It was very powerful and frightening for a split second. Then I recalled the feeling I had as the actual wreck was occurring (6 years prior)- it was a surreal, out-of-body calmness and awareness that I was no longer in control of my vehicle. There was no nauseousness or true fear, it was just an awareness of what was taking place.
When something terrible, truly terrible happens, an initial, split-second calmness always accompanies it. -It's that place where your brain hasn't had time to interpret the news of what's happening, where only consciousness and awareness exist. It's shock, adrenaline, whatever you wan to call it- but it's significant. It's significant to know that when in a state of being, not processing, we are calm. -We are not out of control, scared or in despair.
The weeks following my car wreck were far more traumatic than the wreck itself; waiting to see if the person at fault had insurance to cover my liability-covered only Accord I had just bought in cash, with my life's savings, was torturous. Really.
For the record... it all worked out. I had truly wanted a Honda Prelude since the age of 17, and when I finally had saved money to buy a new (for me, new) car, I opted for a more 'practical' car, the Accord. It would allow for 'family life' since I was 25 and would 'surely be starting a family soon.' HaHaHa. The car was great but it wasn't truly what I wanted and desired. So, three months after buying it it was totaled (weird right?), and I was issued a check to replace it. Then I did search for and find the perfect car- a black, 5 speed, 98 Honda Prelude, the car I had always wanted. I still have the car, 6 years later. It has 173,000 miles on it and I still love it. So, that's a whole different story, but a cool one right?
Back to the 'Anticipation being worse than the Anticipated' theme... the next time you're dreading something, whether it be cleaning house, getting out of bed, going to work, exercising, having sex (hopefully you don't dread that, but ya' never know), etc.- stop for a second and think of what you typically feel like when you are doing the thing you're dreading- it's not that bad right?? You're probably not really miserable when cleaning, working out, working, etc. -The anticipation is far worse, and in knowing that, the anticipation will be easier to deal with. :)
Related Affirmation: I am open to __________. All is well. Here you should breathe in, picturing, soothing, bright, light, invigorating energy entering your body, hold it for a moment then breathe out, any grey-ish-colored, negative, heavy resentful energy in your body.
Now... get on to whatever you are trying to do but have been putting off due to anticipation!
Comments
Post a Comment