-To 'follow your gut' you must be first be open to hear its message

Has anyone ever told you, "Just follow your gut/heart?"
Of course they have, most likely you hear it every time you're presented with a perplexing choice or in a state of confusion.
However has anyone told you how to follow your gut, how to get in tune with what your heart truly wants? It can be trickier than it sounds.
Better yet, has anyone said those 4 words (just follow your gut) only to ridicule or warn you, laugh at you or even look at you like you're stark crazy when you share what it is your gut is actually telling you? -Of course they have.... many people are so closed off from their true desires and purpose in life that they cringe when someone else is brave enough to actually tap in to their own. It scares them and they're doing what they've been taught to do since childhood- fear the unknown. That's what we've all been taught.
I have struggled and worked for years of my life trying to break the code of knowing what to do/what I'm supposed to do, etc.- which = following your heart, Universal mission.
In college I contemplated becoming: an air traffic controller, a nurse, a math teacher (I wasn't good at math), a paramedic, an embalmer, a political science major... just to name a few. I officially changed my major 3 times. I ended up with a degree in Communications, always a good choice for us confused folks!
Not once did I consider majoring in something that would get me closer to realizing my childhood dream.
Do you recall your childhood dream? Do you remember that brief moment of excitement when you 'figured out what you wanted to be when you grew up?' And I say brief because for most of us it is brief- typically the adults in your life quickly shun the idea without even knowing they're shunning it and you, forget about it.
-Let me take you to the present day, a time in which I'm far more enlightened... after countless heartbreaks, failures, jobs, owned businesses. For this could become a book if I don't move to present day, immediately! -Read this little story and be inspired :)..........
Nearly two years ago I moved to Miami (led here by following my gut) and got a job at Miami Dade Animal Services as a CSR (Customer Service Representative). Anyone who knows me knows Animal and Environmental Welfare are my life's passions so this seemed like a perfect fit. I was very excited and happy as was my family. Within a few months I realized I did not like my job. I LOVE shelter work and working with animals but that is not what I was doing as a CSR. I felt unfulfilled, empty, confused and frustrated. I wasn't able to interact with the animals hardly at all (only on lunch breaks and fostered dogs). I was angry with myself at this point because I felt torn-
"Why can't you just be content you're doing something at the shelter? At least it's a job and can lead to a someting I like here," that's what my logical mind was telling me.
"I don't know many people who love their jobs anyhow Jessica. What would you even do if you left? A paycheck is better than no paycheck. You have great benefits," was what my family was telling me.
After 10 months I followed my gut and resigned from MDAS. Most around me probably thought it was stupid, and maybe I thought it was stupid but I was following my gut damnit.
I took a job working in the the bar scene (a job that wouldn't benefit my resume but would pay the bills) and decided to take a 6 wk. aesthetics course to become an Aesthetician, this way I could get a job at a spa on the beach near my home, make good tips and be happyyyy :) It sounded all good and well- it was a logical plan,  but not a follow your gut plan.
I finished the program, all along feeling like, "Why am I doing this?" but I just couldn't quit the program, what would everyone think?! -And the course money would be wasted- omg! (Interlude- working in this field CAN be a great profession- I'm not knocking it- it's just not MY calling.
Within a month I got a job with European Wax Ctr. as a Wax tech. I like waxing but again, not my life's calling. To my boyfriend and family's slight disappointment I quit within 2 months- here I was following my gut, and went back to the bar job. About 4 months passed, sometimes I felt pretty crappy, proclaiming, "If this is it for me, if this is all I'm going to do with my life let me die now." And I sincerely meant it.
Most of the time, however, I felt good. I felt a knowing-ness (invented word) that the Universe would offer me the right job in good time. During this time I went on various interviews for 'good' jobs (well paying, benefits, blah, blah, blah) but I did not accept them or they didn't materialize. I kept saying, "this time I'm waiting for what's right. I'm not going to accept a job just for the sake of having a reg. job."
Then I did accept one- a wax tech position with UniK in Brickell. I couldn't resist- it was close to home, closed Sundays, would probably offer good tips and in a very cool area. The second day of training I quit, during training, I hadn't even started working yet. I told the manager I felt called to do something else, that I appreciated everything, etc. but that I knew this was not meant for me. This was a tough one, again my boyfriend and family were a bit frazzled and perhaps wondered if I'd ever stay put. I felt badly about myself. I cried. I was worried there was something wrong with me, terribly wrong with me. What if I was lazy? What if I just kept coming up with excuses to stay in the 'easy money' bar job? What if I was a no good, worthless sack of shit? -Really.
Through all of these months I had continued to volunteer at Miami Dade Animal Services- I stayed very involved and was able to do so b/c I LISTENED TO MY GUT and didn't take another f.t. stupid job I wouldn't even like. If I would have been working f.t. somewhere else I wouldn't have always been at the shelter volunteering and heard about...  a job opening- Lead Adoption Coordinator. Now that was a job for me.
-And I started 6 days ago, and have no intentions of quitting :). I sincerely hope this lengthy blog can someway help you to see- just because it's a great opportunity doesn't mean it's a great opportunity for you. -It has to be your dream, not everyone else's dream for you.
I went through a lot of pain and doubt this past year, professionally, but stayed true to my gut and it did pay off. -Don't buy into the hype so easily- please. Follow your heart.

Related Affirmation: I am led to what's right for me. I am in sync with God's/the Universe's plan for me. I am a channel for divine love, and allow this love to work through me. I am getting out of the way and letting the Universal energy flow and work to mold and use me as it wishes. I am worthy of happiness and fulfillment. I do not have to settle!




Comments

  1. Good message. Glad your journey has led you to where you're happy.

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  2. Dearest Daughter,

    I really like this post. I remember when you were a little girl, so into the gorillas and wanting to save them. I know that I probably wasn't always the most supportive maybe, but I was proud of you even then and I hope you know that. If I poo-pooed your dreams, I certainly didn't mean to.

    I am proud each and every single day to call you my daughter. You are one of the most kind-hearted people I know and your compassion for animals, and most people (LOL) knows no bounds.

    I love you.

    Mom

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  3. Thank you! :) And you didn't ruin my dreams- that's impossible. We are all doing the best we can at any given time!
    In case anyone was wondering- had I just stayed at the shelter from the get go I would not have been transferred to this position I really like- it's a long story but it wouldn't have happened. It had to happen this way :)

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